Drugs: Is someone using?

Aside from the physical effects of drugs certain warning signs may indicate that a family member or friend is drinking too much alcohol or using other drugs. Although these warning signs are not foolproof, each by itself or many signs combined over time should be cause for concern.

Signs of a problem drinker

With alcohol, here are some signs to look for:

Does the person pour a drink as an immediate reaction when faced with any problem?
Does the person drink until intoxicated?
Is there a record of missed work because of drinking or an ill-disguised smell of alcohol on the breath during work hours even though attendance may be regular?
Does the person drive a car while intoxicated?
Has his or her home life become intolerable because of drinking or arguments resulting from drinking?
Does he or she handle all social celebrations and stress with alcohol?

These are signs of an adult problem drinker. It is important to note, however, that any use of alcohol by youth is abuse and cause for concern.

When these signs are present, it means that a person's drinking pattern, if not already out of control, is heading that way. A person does not have to be an alcoholic to have problems with alcohol.

Substance abuse clues

Certain additional behavioral characteristics also seem to accompany the abuse of alcohol and other drugs. The clues can be found in all people who abuse these substances, regardless of age. Examples of these clues include:

an abrupt change in mood or attitudes
sudden and continuing decline in attendance or performance at work or in school
impaired relationships with family members or friends
unusual temper flare-ups
increased borrowing of money from parents or friends
stealing from the home, at school, or in the workplace
heightened secrecy about actions and possessions
associating with a new group of friends, especially with those who use drugs

How can I help a family member or friend?

If someone confides in you that he or she has a problem with alcohol or other drugs, some ways of dealing with this situation clearly work better than others. Try to be...

understanding - Listen to reasons why he or she uses/abuses alcohol or other drugs.
firm - Explain why you feel that use of alcohol or other drugs is harmful, and why this individual needs to seek counseling and treatment.
supportive - Assist the user in finding help and providing moral support through the tough times ahead.
self-examining - Ask yourself whether you have provided a good role model.

Avoid being sarcastic, accusatory, stigmatizing, sympathy-seeking for yourself, or self-blaming.

Intervening in the case of a family member or friend who is abusing chemicals can be very difficult and hurtful. The person with the problem will most likely deny the problem and try to put you on the defensive. (e.g. I thought you were my friend. Are you calling me a drunk?) In cases like this, what you don't do is as important as what you should do.

Avoid emotional appeals, which may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to drink.
Don't cover up or make excuses for the person.
Don't take over his or her responsibilities, which will leave the person with no sense of importance or dignity.
Don't argue with the person when he or she is drunk or high.
Don't hide or dump bottles or shelter the person from situations where alcohol or drugs are present.
Above all, don't accept responsibility for the person's actions or guilt for his or her drinking or drug use.